5 Love Languages
Some years back I was introduced to 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
Although it’s essentially a book on relationships, there are many important elements we can apply to being mindful around our colleagues.
- Acts of kindness – actions to show you care (smile, opening door, offering, helping)
- Words of thanks - verbal appreciation (in front of colleagues, Round Robin email)
- Gifts – tokens of appreciation (impulsive gestures)
- Notes – written appreciation (card/email)
- Quality Time – time together (support – listening, sharing)
We tend (he says) to give to others in a way we would like to receive.
So, if we find ourselves in our relationships giving tokens of appreciation, then that is what we would like from others.
We can show our appreciation in a variety of ways – (above) and look for ways to do that every day.
We’ll get the greatest reward and change by being continually pleasant around those we find most challenging.
Think of someone in your life you have a challenge with and work through a day, a week, or a month, without thinking negatively about them.
If a week is a step too far, try a day – or 1 hour. Try and look for something positive in them.
Seek out a genuinely attractive aspect you can focus on. Extend this thinking out to your colleagues.
What ways can you think of that would enable you to show your appreciation, in little ways that they will notice?
Perhaps you can thank someone in a Round Robin email – so that they know you are praising their efforts (we all like this public recommendation!)
Perhaps you can be impulsive – and show your thanks with a teeny weeny gift – even if it’s only a biscuit.
Start to be considerate in noticing how others assist you and be grateful.
Show them that you’ve noticed and thank them, in ways they will appreciate you for.
A while ago a colleague advised me how I could claim a rebate on new glasses from my Company.
In appreciation I gave him a big pack of nuts and raisins that I knew he liked. He was glad to receive it, and to have helped me.
This Easter I gave my colleagues a tiny Chocolate Bunny – again a small thing but I want them to know I appreciate their support and want to show my connection.
One day, after helping a colleague with her college assignments, I came in to find a bowl of hyacinth bulbs on my desk! What thoughtfulness.
This was the same colleague who had earlier suggested we show each other random acts of kindness. Something I applaud.
Consider what you can do in the same way. Match your Mindfulness with the recipient and know you’ve done a good thing.
If you can get over yourself and put yourself in another’s shoes then you can start to see things from their angle.
This is taken from my online course Communicating with Colleagues. You can find details here: https://www.geraldinejozefiak.com/communicatingwithcolleagues