Give Yourself Some Slack. You Deserve It

When I was growing up, my Father worked in a Bank. Long hours. Commitment. Future planning. He saw effort and investment working out in positive returns. He expected his children to be hard workers too.  Slackness played no part in our childhood. High standards, high expectations and none of that achieved without effort.

No surprise then that I’m self directed and motivated to do well.  I push hard and demand much of myself.  Great attributes? Or hurdles down the line? Both, of course, depending on the moment.

I can be hard on myself but I’ve learnt to let go of the small things.

It’s true that I can hear my Father’s voice in my head urging me to do more, be more. But I can also hear my own small voice “Give yourself a break Geraldine”.

When I compare my energy to succeed with others, I often think I’m lacking, but as I’ve become more mindful of my thoughts I balance these thoughts of lack-lustre efforts and remind myself to ease off on my small talk.

I know we’re governed by our small talk, and when we’re leading teams and supporting others we may feel we’ve no right to ease up on work.

But ‘slack’ here doesn’t mean slacking off to the point of idleness.  It means giving ourselves a break.  Being kinder to ourselves in our quiet moments.  It means allowing ourselves a bit of space to ease off on the talking-to we give ourselves.

After all, we may be so much kinder to colleagues and staff than ourselves.  It’s easier to see where others might need a break (temporary or extended). But we often don’t allow ourselves such luxuries.

Giving ourselves some slack might seem a weakness. You might think of it as being less intentional, or stepping back. But slack comes in many forms.

• It might be you just being kinder to your inner self , and taking a well-earned time out (5 mins with a Unwind, or a cup of favourite tea)
• Perhaps you need to walk away for a while and let your creative mind settle
• Do you need to just stop berating yourself and instead just be still and listen to your higher self?
• Does being slack to you mean pressing pause on a project, or sharing your overload with a colleague?

I’ve used all of these at different times.

The key is learning to know ourselves and how we speak to ourselves. 

• How do you answer back?
• What do you expect of yourself?
• How merciless are you at setting personal standards?
• Is there any wriggle room in your process?
• Do you build in gracious self talk (after all, you’d be nicer than that to others, I expect)?

Learn that giving yourself some slack is just you separating yourself from overwhelm and finding a bit of gentle space to take a moment. It’s not you throwing your toys out of the pram, or hitting meltdown. Giving yourself some slack is your way of avoiding these dramatic shows of overload.

Slack is your salvation – it’s space and freedom to view things from a protective distance without the full immersion.

This kind of 360 degree viewpoint is key to survival.

Slack is you serving yourself , not egotistically, but Mindfully. And it’s in this space to be that you may find yourself ready to pull things tight again.