Help and The Bigger Picture

I used to hate asking for help. I blame my Father.  No, I’ll rephrase that.  My Father taught me to be resilient. I was expected to be self reliant and to learn how to do things without needing the support of others.  My siblings may not agree with my view.

I can see now that it held me back. I’ve been loathe to ask others to lift me up when I needed it.

Perhaps a mix of ego, pride, fear of being less able than I feel I should?

There are many emotions tied in with it. And I’ll get to unravel a few.

But the one that sticks is asking for help from others. Let me break it down.

• When we ask others to help us, it might be momentary or long term
• Perhaps we need immediate guidance at a distance, or a longer interaction
• We may seek practical help

The kind of help isn’t important here. It’s the opportunity to let others help.

I used to think by not asking I’d show my strength.

Now, by asking and reaching out, I show my vulnerability (not as I saw it - my neediness). Being vulnerable and open to the feelings of others is good for our personal growth.

It’s common for a cry for help to trigger an offer of support.  If this comes willingly and kindly, who are we to turn down a gracious hand of friendship?

By turning down such offers we push away someone’s opportunity to show their compassion. By allowing them to witness our challenge, we let them into our experience.

Together we all get to develop our gratitude and thankfulness.  It’s a win-win situation all round.

Most of us have this natural instinct to respond with kindness.

How do you tend to respond?

Our pride may prompt us to refuse offers of help? We may fear we’ll be drawn into more emotional stuff, or have to endure more than we’re ready for.

But just stop and consider. When others reach out, their own guidance system has clocked an opportunity to develop empathy, to reciprocate perhaps, or to bond. So why would we halt their personal development process, and a chance to work on our thinking?

When we take our thinking off ourselves for a moment and see the bigger picture, we can see how all this is connected.

Our reaching out triggers a reaction. By letting the process unfold, we accept the universe’s response to our problem and graciously accept a solution.

So for me now, asking for help is no longer needy. I value the time of others. When I ask for help I know it will give a chance to build a stronger relationship. I get to play a part in helping my friend, while they also support me. We both know what we bring and are ready to share, equally.

There’s no victim or victor. When I ask, and am rewarded with an offer of help, I am firstly thankful, then gracious is my acceptance.

I know help is out there if I only ask. If I put away the ego, drop the need and send up a prayer for solutions.

So, as you see, I don’t always ask directly. Sometimes I send out the thought to the Universe and trust help will come.

I’m learning the trust the plan, the process and the purpose.

Could you be more gracious is asking for and accepting help?