It's ok to not be ok

For those of us in the UK, we’re all about to return to schools and resume our education provision. It’ll be a challenging time for everyone – students and staff alike.

I’d like to ask you to approach it all with a ‘tender touch’.  Be kind on yourself and thoughtful of others.

Until we know how our students and colleagues have managed their isolation, we won’t know how to respond.  So we need to be tender in how we treat everyone and how we are to ourselves.

Please don’t hit overwhelm as you return, and feel swamped by responsibilities.

I’ve only just returned to full time work myself and honestly, – I felt the switch from working from home, to work based, pretty exhausting.

There was the contact to get my head around first.  So many more people were suddenly in my surroundings, and using my area. I’m learning to lean into it, and be gentle in my interactions.

Your personal work space WILL be different.  We may think our colleagues are encroaching, or students invading our pre-set parameters.

It will all need time to adjust to the new. This new normal may stay with us for a while. So in the meantime, a tender touch will help you ease into these changes.  Recognise that adjustments will need to be made on all sides. You may find your tenderness conflicting with anger, frustration and anxiety in some quarters.  But stick with a tender response and kindness, and you won’t go far wrong.

It’s ok to say you’re not ok – if you feel this re-convening contradicts your establish new normal. It’s vital we all speak out our worries and anxieties.

You’ll be giving your students space to do that.  Apply the same generosity to your colleagues, and yourself. Overwhelm on Week 1 won’t be helpful, so cut yourself some slack.  Go easy on your expectations.

The process of returning will need many gentle but searching conversations.  You’ll need to be intuitive in spotting anxieties (yours and others’) and yet gentle in how you react. 

If you’ve a challenging history with anyone, now’s the perfect time to re-address it.  Consideration for others will always win the day.

I’ve experienced a degree of Agoraphobia in returning to work.  My social circle was so limited, that the idea of mixing brought up some resistance.

It will take time to learn to be around others and work collaboratively. 

We’ve got used to making separate and maybe isolated decisions working from home, and we may feel the need to re-assert our position, or responsibilities.

I’ve found some colleagues responding graciously to this coming together, whilst others are somewhat reserved or combative.

If you stay true to being observant, vigilant of your feelings and noticing what comes up, then you’ll be better able to integrate the newness of it all more smoothly. When you are adjusted, you are able to give more to others. You can’t give away what you don’t have. 

So tenderly allow yourself to find your own level, so you can offer this tender touch to those who might need it.