Take a Moment to Stop and Breathe
We all live frantic, busy lives. We rush from pillar to post. We’ve no sooner left one meeting than we’re heading for another.
It’s why I want to share the concept of Take 5 – taking 5 minutes out, to give you so much more. Most of us just haven’t built in the practice of stopping.
The struggle of being still
If you’re like me then you were taught from an early age to be busy, and productive. My Father used to get cross if he saw me being idle. To him busy equated with work and work = money (he was a Banker).
Consequently, I have always had a hard time just stopping. It goes against the grain. I hear his voice telling me to get in the groove again. It’s that little woodpecker reminding me that I’m being idle.
But as I’ve learnt more about our brains, how we think, stress and Mindfulness, I realise that stopping and being still is THE thing that will slow down our heart rate and give us a breather.
It’s not laziness. It’s not opting out. In fact it’s opting in to helping our own health and well-being.
You may know I’ve just written a new Mindfulness in-cell workbook for HMP. Here you have busy, frantic minds struggling to be still. If ever there was an audience ripe for Mindfulness, I work with it.
For a number of years I sat in a ‘Spirit Circle’ with other like-minded souls. Each session we meditated for around 20 minutes or so. It was a struggle to start with, and it remains a struggle.
You’d think if I recommend stillness that I’d have that one down wouldn’t you, but perhaps because I know how hard it is, I understand the resistances we put up.
In our recent workbook I suggest our learners take a few minutes, a few times a day to just ‘Be’.
So I’m going to give you a few suggestions on how you might do just that. Just Being is the antithesis of Doing.
How to Take 5
I know it’s hard to Take 5 at work. Sometimes we’re so busy that it seems impossible, but if you’re determined, then you’ll find a way. The rest room is always an option.
Look at Take 5 as a quickie stillness exercise. Because it’s so short (it can be even shorter if necessary) there’s no need to stress that it’s a step too far. You’re not being asked to zone out for 30 minutes or to let your frantic mind unravel itself in a nano-second.
No, I’m just suggesting this. Just Stop. Stop the busyness.
We’re so used to being busy. We think busy will show how great a team player we are. “You can see how busy I am – look at all this stuff I have to do! “ We all know colleagues who ‘appear’ to make a simple task last forever, right? Some folk are Masters at stretching a task out into infinity and beyond.
Perhaps our resistance to stopping come from fear. We might fear that being seen as inactive could give the wrong impression. That perhaps, if we’re down on responsibilities and activity then we’re superfluous to requirements..
Or honestly – maybe its that we’re so good at what we do, doing things super well, super quickly and efficiently, that we just don’t have time to notice our stress levels. A perfect Time to Take 5.
So here’s my handy dandy 1-2-3-4-5 Take 5 tips.
- Notice when you full to the brim with doing. Get to know your level. When do you feel things are just a step too far? Go beyond Noticing. Once you’ve Noticed how that is for you, think how to build in a Take 5.
Notice. Tick.
- Decide the best time to Take 5. Can you leave off Now? Is that the best time? Or can you safely (from YOUR mental health low ground) leave it. I’ve seen too many colleagues who don’t Notice steam building and then melt over. If only they’d planned out how and when to build in a Take 5, we wouldn’t have lost them to less stressful positions.
So Decide When. Planning next.
- Plan ahead. How will you do your Take 5. So you face a wall in your designated area, or are you screened off from others? Can you safely (and privately) just close your eyes unobserved for 5 minutes? Perhaps Now’s the time to discuss this with your Team manager of SLT and let them know that you plan on integrating this into your Stress Management plan.
I remember shortly after I joined HMP being told of an SLT Manager who had a favourite cupboard she liked to go into, and scream inside. Extreme perhaps, and certainly not unobtrusive, but needs must.
Before you need it, plan out your How to do a Take 5. Will you head for the restroom? Ask to step outside? Can you wait for a break, or might this be an immediate 5 minutes out to stop you hitting overload on the spot?
Many of us just don’t know what our flash points are, until they happen.
In all my working life there have only been 2 occasions when I’ve cried in front of someone. It’s often the nice, supportive ones right?. We can hold it together until someone shows concern and then wallop. Melt down.
I don’t want that for you. So Notice, Decide and Plan ahead.
- How will you BE in your Take 5. I hesitated to say what will you DO because we’re getting away from Doing. But how will you ‘spend’ your Take 5?
- Will you do some breathing exercises?
- Think some calm thoughts or read a short uplifting poem
- Perhaps a quick audio clip of peaceful sounds
- Or just sit still and do nothing
- Or a silent, quick meditation, taking your thought from the top of your head to the tips of toes …
So many ways to be still and silent. What would work for you? And if 5 minutes seems a step too far, start with 2 minutes … if you’re new to being, and doing nothing, it will seem an age …!
Now time to Take 5.
- Take 5. Time to take your 5 minutes – however and wherever you’ve decided to take it.
Don’t think of this as indulgence, but necessity. 5 minutes in no time at all if it helps you stay the course. Explain all this beforehand so the powers that me know what’s happening.
And if you’re taking you 5 minutes at home amongst the family (yes, they can push us too), let every one know what you’re about and why.
Perhaps you can build in a routine of Taking 5 or 15 as you start and end each day. Work out a plan that works best for you, your energies and your responsibilities.
Remember the reason you’re doing this is just to keep in balance. We all need to re-charge ourselves. Perhaps you just need to take 5 with a cup of tea in the garden. Or stroke your cat, or write a note to a near and dear one.
Taking 5 doesn’t have to be you being silent and still, though that will help. If it makes more sense just to do different then do. Take yourself away from the stress of the moment and smell the roses (metaphoricially!).
The best Take 5 is one that works for you.
Let me share a Take 5 I wrote for our new Mindfulness in-cell workbook, where I suggest they sit grounded with their feet on the floor, stilling the mind and breathing steadily, just for a few moments.
Find somewhere where you can be quiet, but if that’s not possible, pick somewhere where you can feel safe to close your eyes for just a few minutes
When you’re in your space, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Breathe in deeply and then let your breath go
Imagine your out-breath taking your cares with it
Draw every new fresh breath deep into you. Imagine it filling your lungs, flooding you with light, filling every part of you with renewed energy
As you breathe out see it taking your worries, leaving you feeling calm and steady again.
With your eyes still closed, sit quietly for a few minutes reminding yourself you are safe and well
Keep breathing steadily, and when you feel ready open your eyes.
By taking just few minutes, when needed you’ll be giving yourself time to re-group and re-balance. WE often don’t know how stressed we’ve become until we stop.
There’s no shame in showing you need a few minutes. It’s eminently sensible and shows how much you value your own well-being.
If you can share the idea with colleagues and students.
If you would like me to come and speak to your Staff and Colleagues you can download a Speakers Pack here.